It's unfortunate but this shan't be a happy 'Welcome to my blog' I'm afraid. I feel bothered at this moment in time, and my best friend suggesting blogging. 'Blogging?' I said, and now here I am. To Blog my blag. We'll see how it goes...
Oh dear. My life seems to have hit an ultimate low; college, boy(s), and my future are all hanging above me rearing their ugly heads, and to be quite honest I've had rather enough. I'd usually describe myself as a happy go lucky person, and I hate moaners, however I feel as if nothing i do is right anymore, and anything that looks even slightly promising is violently snatched from my hands just as i'm getting used to it being in my reach. what have i done to deserve constant disappointments? I feel as though i'm being constantly teased with appealing things, which never seem to provail or amount to anything much. But why? What have I done which is so awful that iIdon't deserve any sort of happiness. For instance; i'm torn between two colleges, a boy that's otherwise occupied with his own problems and a constant reminder that i'm set up to fail. What more can I do.
I'm really considering not going to college at all, and just staying put, forever. I wonder what would happen, just rolling away the hours every single day as people slogged their guts out. I mean would it even matter, would anyone even notice?
why should I conform and become educated; so I can get a good job which amounts to... a hefty pay cheque? Stress? Finding happiness? I just don't know anymore. I've also come to realise, none of the decisions I make will be right in my eyes. I always wonder and strive for more, thinking 'what if...'
Cup of tea, then I'm taking the camera out, I'll feel better.